Chapter Nine

Their birthdays came around sooner than either of us realised. How quickly these little ones grow!

One minute they fit into the crook of your arm, the next they’ve doubled in size and able to sit in their own chairs.

The best part however, is being able to train them out of filling their nappies. Although I will admit, it’s not the most exciting of activities.

I was all too soon feeling the strain of looking after them – animal as well as human. What with three cats and two demanding toddlers, I really needed an extra pair of hands about the place. Ideally Teddy’s, but he had to leave for work.

He had told me I could hire a nanny if it all got too much, so I took him up on the idea. Once the woman in question arrived I happily flopped back into bed, safe in the knowledge that I could do so.

That was what I’d hoped, at least. You’d expect it after all, that’s what we pay them for. Instead I woke to the sound of juvenile screeching, and found Dylan still in his cot, screaming to be let out, with a full nappy no less. Sighing, I changed him and brought him downstairs as he was also hungry, wondering where on earth the nanny had got to. I found her as I entered the kitchen; just standing there while a very smelly Darya was drinking from a bottle.

All she had done was bring her downstairs and take out a bottle, and I watched her put Darya in her chair, then back on the floor. She was about to approach her again, but by this point I’d had enough. After feeding Dylan, I sent the useless woman away and promptly changed Darya, before taking the twins upstairs. Once positive nothing else needed doing, I crashed back into bed and willed Teddy to finish work yesterday!

Another day, another dollar and another promotion. Not like we need the money, but it’s so satisfying to keep climbing the ladder like this.

During the course of the day I felt my sanity slowly slip away. Having Teddy around to help was a relief, but it also served to remind me how large the age gap between us still was, despite my earlier wish. By the time evening came, I found myself approaching the lamp for a second time.

After granting me another few days’ grace, I was left with one more wish. I considered the options remaining; money wasn’t a problem, nor was finding a partner. Peace of mind, however, was something that I certainly lacked by now. I was almost begging, never mind wishing, for such a blissful state of mind; anything that would make this nightmarish phase any easier to endure.

At first I felt no different. After a while though, I felt so incredibly calm, even happy with my life. I no longer felt the need to keep working, and taking days off to look after my family was one of my concerns. It would be no longer – the very next day, when I was due to arrive, I called to hand in my notice.

Teddy told me of this substance known as smart milk, which helps toddlers learn at a quicker than normal rate. Very clever device, one I was keen to try after the length of time I spent at the potty with the twins.

It worked very well too, despite the strange side-effect of such food that left them glowing. It seems to literally be like brain food; it sustains them as well as helping them learn much sooner than expected.

There was still one worry, which was taken care of with but a trip to the local pet shop. Neptune needed a mate, and I spotted a charming Tonkinese cat I named Hydra.

Now, Lore and I get along very well and agree on most things, but on this I just had to say something.

“Are you mad?” I spluttered, “Naming her after a dragon’s just asking for trouble!”

I crossed my arms as I looked back at him, wondering what his problem was.

“I just liked the name,” I shrugged, “They’re both female, and a hydra is a water creature as I am…”

“A hydra’s a dragon!”

“Oh come now, don’t be silly,” I chided, “Names have no bearing on a cat! Remember Pisces? She’s hardly a fish!”

My eyes flickered warily from cat to owner, before uneasily crossing my arms.

“Alright,” I relented, “But the moment she starts behaving like her namesake she’s going bye-byes, you got me?”

Of course I agreed, but in all honesty I couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about.